I have dealt with brokenness for years. From my second divorce to being diagnosed with breast cancer. I am a 4 year survivor and thought I was in the clear except dealing with lots of side affects and very bad health – that I had just decided to give to God to help me get under control. But then at my mammogram this week a spot was found on my left breast. I was asking what the heck is going on here??!!! I offered my brokenness and I get more. I am reeling from it all and trying to figure it all out. But I know for a fact that I still have got to give it to God. I have to. I had a friend ask me what other choice do I have except to wallow in it and be depressed and crying all the time. At my lowest point – giving it all to God.
I have started reading “Broken Way” by Ann Voskamp. She is a writer that is not afraid to be vulnerable and open up about all that she is dealing with. Her first book “A Thousand Gifts” was a book about thanksgiving and counting your blessings. I read it during my chemotherapy days. I learned the importance of counting your blessings before offering yourself to others and to God. When Jesus took communion with his disciples, Luke 22:19 says, ‘And he took bread and when he had given thanks he broke it and gave it to them…’
He took the bread and He gave thanks. Always in our life our first thing we should do is give thanks. GIVE. THANKS.
My last blog I talked of my struggle of knowing all I needed to do is give this to God and trust Him to take care of me. But I will honestly say I have not recently done a very good job at giving thanks to Him for what I have now. Thanks for how far He has brought me and taken care of me and my daughter.
Our hearts have been broken by many things. This brokenness an be bad. But ‘bad brokenness can be broken by good brokenness’. The first thing to do to take care of your heart is to always give thanks. Give your broken heart to God and thank Him for what He has done. Trading your bad brokenness for His good brokenness.
As I give thanks I am able to see where God has taken care of me in the past and present and then KNOW that He will take care of me in the future. The knowing is what travels from our heart to our head as we give thanks. So what am I thankful for today?
- my hard working husband who wants to take care of us
- doctors who surround me with their knowledge to take care of me
- friends who pray for me incessantly
- being able to stay home with my daughter so she can have what she needs
- a roof over my head, food in my pantry, clothes, warm water
Thank you God.
Wallowing in it is not my choice. I will be thankful to God for all He has done for me. To heal through my broken heart, I will offer it to Him with my thanksgiving.