Depression is here, But God is bigger

So I have had a rough few weeks. I have kind of been absent from life. I had started a new exercise journey through a group called LiveStrong. It’s for cancer survivors who are trying to get back to exercising. Problem is surgeries, chemo, radiation, and lots of meds tend to just mess things up tremendously. You are not the same person you were emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I used to be athletic. I used to love Zumba. Not happening anymore. I am almost 5 years out.  I started the class thinking, “I got this.” NOT! I am probably in worse shape than most of them in the class. For 4 years I couldn’t do anything so I didn’t. My muscles are shot. My joints are shot. My body is shot. I was not progressing like I thought I should. I hurt so much. I then went for a mammogram and they found another spot. I spiraled. Into a depression. One that I am fighting to get through still to this day. I have had to come to terms with the fact that my body will never be the same. Due to good advice, I decided I would rather go into exercise and be sore than sit on the couch complaining all day from joint pain and muscle exhaustion. I had to deal with the fact that even though the cancer could come back – MY GOD IS BIGGER. He is bigger than all of this. He is bigger than the pain and the exhaustion and He is bigger than the cancer!!!

The song ‘Even If’ by Mercy Me has a line that says,

“I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul”


Matthew 17:20

He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

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