It’s been a heart wrenching few months for me. I don’t even know where to start or end right now. My blogs could be full of so much God is talking to me about right now. But it seems overwhelming some days.
I lost 2 friends. Two people that were so well loved. And others knew how much they were loved by these two people. They left behind a legacy that I want. People knew they loved God completely and loved them completely.
How can I be that? That when I am gone people show up in droves to my funeral because they knew I loved them and they knew I loved God. They knew, that I knew where I was going in life.
A quote I wrote down that I carry with me, “Remember to love on those near to you. Hold tight to those who are always there for you. Move forward in life. People come and go. Treasure those people – hold tight to them.”
I am a person who tends to want everyone to like me. I am not myself with them because I am afraid they won’t like the real me. But I have worked on being the real me in the last several years. I have lost a few people in my life because I tend to be brutally honest.
John Eldredge is one of my favorite authors. He said. “I am a keen observer of people and situations. I have a quick eye for the truth that no one else wants to admit and do not want to hear. Sadly I have said things and people get mad at me for what I said. And no longer want to speak to me.”
He was speaking of his son. His son is one of those who observes and notices everything and is very good at getting to the truth of it all. At first John didn’t like it. He was uncomfortable hearing the straight forward truth but in time he began to appreciate it.
I realized alot of people don’t like how straight forward I can be. And my first thought was, “Too bad, so sad” but is that loving someone??? So when I am being straight forward, am I loving that person??
I now ask myself that constantly. In everything I do. Whatever action – am I loving this person? What would Jesus do? WWJD. Really? Yes. Jesus loved – in everything He did. To the very end.
I will admit it has changed me to the point that I feel uncomfortable sometimes. I am trying to be different and I don’t know what that looks like and I am learning and I am coming across withdrawn but I am wanting to change and it will take time.
“Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.” 2 Corinthians 7:1
First of all, BELOVED. My new favorite word. Because I AM HIS BELOVED. He calls us all who are the kingdom family – Beloved. Second, defilement means to desecrate something.
I realized me, His Beloved, was defiling my heart and spirit, when I was not loving others. And as He changes me He is bringing me closer to His holiness. His completion of me which will come full circle is His time. Heaven. Completion. Praise God for that.
So here is in hopes that I continue to love others more. And be thankful now for others who are loving me. Not after they are gone.
My tribe. These are my people that I love dearly and they love me dearly.